


Tous Mes Rêves

by curlyremus



Series: Years of Wolfstar's Life [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: First Kiss, Getting Together, M/M, Mutual Pining, Sorry Not Sorry, sirius cries a lot, some language, they've got potty mouths for 14 year olds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-08-23 13:10:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16619588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curlyremus/pseuds/curlyremus
Summary: Tous Mes Rêves translates to All My Dreams.Sirius really likes Remus, Remus really likes Sirius.They don't understand why.





	Tous Mes Rêves

The curtains around Remus’ bed were closed, and it was just Sirius and Remus sitting cross-legged across from each other, innocently. Sirius lives for these moments when it’s just them, not that he would ever admit it. 

James was probably annoying Lily and Peter was in detention for taking the blame for their latest prank — not that either of them cared about their friends’ exact whereabouts.

Remus ran his thumb over Sirius’ cheek, his eyes fluttered closed with the soft touch from the younger boy and his breath was uneven from nerves. Remus studied Sirius’ face, he always thought of it as angelic. The more he looked at Sirius’ full lips the more he wanted to kiss them, the more he wanted Sirius. It was a dilemma for Remus since he knew Sirius trusted him and if he knew that Remus gets butterflies whenever he is near would be a betrayal.

Sirius could feel his heart pound against his chest as Remus lightly touched his lips before running his finger along his jaw. Sirius wanted nothing more than Remus to kiss him. Remus licked his lips before ever so gently pressing them into Sirius’. As quick as Remus kissed Sirius it was over. 

It felt so right, Sirius thought. It was a pleasant surprise at how strong Remus’ lips were, he was glad he was sitting otherwise he probably would’ve fallen over. At that moment he would’ve sold his soul to the devil just to experience that again.

“Merlin,” Sirius opened his eyes to see Remus covering his mouth and staring down at his feet. He felt as if his heart was about to explode from beating so fast. Remus looked mortified at the fact he just kissed him which made Sirius want to curl up and hide. 

“I’m sorry, fuck,” Remus continued to look down at his feet as Sirius stared at him intently. “I shouldn’t have kissed you,” he finally looked up and Sirius quickly set his gaze on the red curtain next him not wanting to look obvious.

Sirius whispered, “but you did.” 

“I’m sorry,” he apologised quickly.

The curtain was pulled back by Remus as he tried to escape Sirius and the embarrassment that came along with what he just did. He knew his best friend wouldn’t understand and most likely tease him about it. 

“Remus,” Sirius grabbed Remus’ wrist as he got off the bed.

“What?” he hissed. 

Sirius blinked multiple times with his mouth open — he just wanted Remus to sit back down and kiss him until his lips go numb. He started to feel embarrassed over the fact that he must’ve misread the situation not that he knew how else to read it. “I’m not fucking with you,” he spoke softly.

“Piss off,” Remus pulled his hand out of Sirius’ grasp looking down at him, the nervousness of Sirius showed clearly by him shrinking back into the pillows.

Sirius took a deep breath in. “I really like you,” he was looking Remus dead in the eyes. Remus sighed in response and sat across from him again, he half expected Sirius to laugh in his face.

While he knew Sirius liked him as a person, it was fourth year and they had spent multiple times alone without James or Peter being mentioned. These sessions started with Remus needing study help after the full moon in late second year, which turned into them hanging out alone outside the sessions. 

At the start Sirius would talk all the time — practically non stop, which drove Remus up the wall at times. After Christmas in fourth year, it changed. They still spent time alone, but Sirius stopped talking all the time and burning through pointless topics. 

The first time Remus thought he saw the actual Sirius was on Valentine’s Day in third year. Peter didn’t get a date, so he decided to stay back at the castle but James, however, had a date with Constance, a girl from slytherin, so he was out. They were at The Three Broomsticks alone. Sirius chugged a bottle of butterbeer down without breathing once before telling Remus he was gay. In return, he told Sirius he liked boys as well as girls. 

The thought Sirius having a crush on him was impossible, he was a werewolf and Sirius was the most attractive and smart guy in school. Remus adored Sirius to what he felt was to no end, he adored the way he laughed to the way he carried himself. 

He scanned the older boy for anything that would give away that it was a prank or something along those lines. He didn’t see anything but he knew it had to be, Sirius Black doesn’t do crushes and he definitely doesn’t do crushes on werewolves. He furrowed his brow, “Sirius, this isn’t funny.” 

“I’m not trying to be funny,” he muttered staring at his feet.

Remus rolled his eyes as he stared at the bed. “Don’t be a dick,”

“Look at me, please,” Sirius’ tone changed to desperation. Remus looked up from the bed to him, a very faint smile appeared a moment before it was gone again. “I really like you, fuck, I really do and it fucking terrifies me,” he wrapped his arms around himself.

Remus was the one who kissed him, yet he was the one that terrified. “Why?” he asked.

“I never been this close with anyone before, nobody has ever…” He looked down at his shaking hands and shoved them between his legs to stop them. “Remus, you’re the only person who has…” Sirius started crying. 

“Sirius,” He pulled Sirius into a warm embrace.

“Everyone is…” Sirius pulled away and wiped his eyes.  
“Everyone in my family hates me and everyone else thinks I’m exactly like them and they’re scared of me.”

Over the years Sirius built a façade, that he didn’t have a care in the world and loved himself, a true rebel. To everyone outside his three friends, that was his true self. His friends knew better — they knew he was constantly on edge around people he wasn’t close friends with, that he spent so much time around other people because he couldn’t stand being by himself.

“I’m not scared of you,” he cupped the older boys cheek. 

Sirius placed his hand over Remus’. “Why not?” he sniffled.

“I know monsters and I know you,” Remus pressed his forehead against Sirius’ and stroked his cheek. He softly said, “I can say with perfect clarity, you could never be one.”

He looked at Remus in the eye, “why do I feel like one?” 

Sirius felt that everyone thought he was like his family and at times he felt that way too. While he knew he didn’t have their beliefs and wouldn’t do half the things they do, he still shares some personality traits and looks like them. 

At times he even feels James thinks that way about him, especially after his constant fuck ups. While he loved James and he knew James loved him, it wasn’t the same as it was with Remus. They knew what it was like to be perceived as something that you’re not — yet they both felt that they were exactly that at heart.

Remus slightly pulled away and cupped his other cheek, “Sirius, if you were as bad and evil as you think you are, you wouldn’t have done half of the things you’ve done.”

“You must think I’m a fucking idiot,” he softly chuckled at himself.

“I adore you,” Remus replied, not missing a beat.

Sirius’ stomach did a flip at the words, he couldn’t fathom why Remus would feel this way about him. He believed that Remus was one that should be admired — he rarely judged, always kept a level head and knew when to stop. 

Sirius whispered, “you shouldn’t.”

“Maybe so, but I wouldn’t want anyone else,” he bit his lip. 

“I don’t deserve you, even as a friend,” he leaned his face into Remus’ hand, in a very dog-like way. 

He softly laughed at the affection. “Well tough because you’re stuck with me,” He smiled.

“I don’t mind being stuck with you.”

Remus pulled him into a kiss. An actual kiss, to Sirius’ relief. The type where you can hear your heartbeat, but it was tender and full of emotion. Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus pulling them closer as if they weren’t already in each other’s personal space. They bumped noses quite a few times but never dwelled on it and got back to locking lips. 

The fact that this was happening at all made Sirius ecstatic, he never thought Remus would fancy him back let alone want to be with him. He knew by the way Remus was kissing him that their relationship will never be the same again — not that he minded.

“Fuck,” Remus mumbled pulling back from Sirius and finally removing his hands from his cheeks.

Sirius kept his arms around Remus, not wanting him to retreat. That was better than what the devil could’ve given me, Sirius thought as he looked at Remus’ warm amber eyes. Remus blushed at the way Sirius was looking at him.

Sirius looked at Remus dumbfounded that he had that in him. “That was fucking brilliant,” he spoke while being short of breath. 

“You think so?” he queried.

“Yes,” he replied instantly. “You can do that whenever you want,” Sirius added. He really wanted Remus to do it again and again until he died from so much snogging, which he knew was probably impossible but he didn’t mind since that meant Remus didn’t stop.

“I might just take you up on that offer,” he smiled.


End file.
